George - The Blog

(That means ‘For the mother fucking fail!!!’)

ITT we shall discuss how much my skillz are the FAIL!

Pong. Pong is most probably as ubiquitous as the Hello World program. Everyone knows of/has played Pong. It is a quintessential piece of history that any game developer needs to know of.
Which makes the fact that I can’t even create a clone of the bastard more harder to swallow. This, coupled with the need for me to actually pull my finger out and revise for my resit on Thursday, is making me a very upset little bunny.

Very upset.

There is so much fail in my programming skill at the moment, it is completely ludicrous. It is as if my whole being is saying “Do Not Want” whenever I try to express an idea as even 1 single line of code.

I have an amazing feeling of déjà vu from the Easter time period. Except this time it’s a little worse than what it was then. This is the whole “your degree rests on the fact that you need to pass this exam” thing. But it’s as if I’m subconsciously sabotaging the my chance to pass this year, in much the same way I was subconsciously sabotaging the chance for me to go to America for my year abroad.

desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu

I need to get away from Leeds for a while, but unfortunately I’m in a little bit of a pickle in as much as I have nowhere I could go. Home (Rochdale) is not an option, unless I wanted to go fully insane, most of the people I know are in Leeds at the moment, I haven’t got that much money so a jaunt abroad is pretty much ruled out.

FOR THE FUCKING LOSE!!!!
Goddamn it. I so need to vent. Cos it bodes ill. It bodes very ill.
The last time I was like this, was after my first girlfriend dumped me and got with the barman who worked at the pub I was living at. I played the whole “keep cool and let it pass” thing, like now, but I lacked the experience to deal with it. Seems said experiences aren’t easily obtained.

AM I SUCH A BAD PERSON FOR THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME TWICE????

It seems that history repeats itself all the time.
That fucks me off…

This is getting way too much for me to deal with.
Karma will sort everything out.

(And for those who are interested Sarah [the first gf] is still with Tim [the barman]. Which, again, bodes very ill for my faith in Karma.)

The decision has been made, and I’m going to have to stick to my convictions and see it through.

It has to happen. It’s for the best.
Edit: And now it has happened. We shall see if how much better it gets.

In a little over a week - 2 weeks time I’m going to find out if I’m going to be studying in America next year, or if I’m going to have to eat humble pie and graduate next year (and then think about which direction my life is going to take.)

However, and this sounds silly, I’m not entirely sure I want to go. I mean, I want to go and stufy in America for the year; it’ll be an experience that could only be beaten by being in love, most probably - not that I’d ever really find out if that comparison is true, as love is something that I’m having “existential problems” with… Don’t believe in it.

“‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote some total bollocks there, didn’t he?

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Tangent of a phenominal nature:
I’ve just had a phone call from a friend, who was as sober as a judge (read: pissed as a fart) and it kind of threw me off my train of thought, but I’ll come back to this later…

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Anyways, I think his comparison of the two states of mind forgets one fundamental thing: If one has never loved, how does one know what one is missing? I could be claimed that people who have never experience love save themselves a lot of emotional heartache, pain and suffering, though in the eyes of those who have experienced it they are missing out on elated joy, fulfilment and a sense of, for want of a better word, ‘love’ - is it right to say that because somebody has never been in love that they can’t have any of those feelings, good or bad? I would hope not.

I could compare love to (my pseudo-view of) religion, in that it is a man-made ‘feeling’ created to give a more human spin on the more animal instincts that we still possess.

But this topic depresses me. Next!

Right, back to my drunken friend of 20 minutes ago.  A strange being whose phone calls and text messages at strange hours of the day (usually just as I’m getting to sleep) never cease to bring endless enjoyment to my life - especially when she is drunk. No end to the amount of pleasure I get from receiving those calls… (There is actually no sarcasm there whatsoever..!) The thing is, I’ve been told by a few “reliable” sources that they’d only phone/text people they fancied at the times I’m receiving these communiques - however I doubt for one moment that this holds true in the case of myself and this girl. I can honestly say, with 100% certainty, that she doesn’t fancy me. And with that statement, I think I can honestly say that I’m over her! Totally, completely, 100% over her. (Yeah, wishful thinking..!)

Anyways, if I keep telling myself that, then it’ll be considerably easier to leave the country with as few loose-ends as possible. (Cos it may end up being true…)

Bah… getting into a little too much detail about the inner-workings of my mind/psyche… I may have to mark this post as private…

Meh!

Hmmm, I should start thinking about investing in a homing device for my wallets. I have now lost 3 wallets in the last 2 years!!

HOW?!?!

(more…)

Heh, I got told that my last posting was too “geeky”. I could’ve taken offence, but I didn’t.

So, without further ado, I’m gonna write a not too geeky post.

(more…)

Well, it had to be done. I had to do the single worst thing in my life. Worse than the time I had to do that thing that time. Which was bad, incidentally.

Yes, what could be this heinous and crucifiable act? Well, it’s - no, it’s too evil to say!

Oh alright! I’ve reinstalled Windows!! There, I’ve told you now…

I have my reasons.

(more…)

Hey y’all,

For the time being I’m suspending all blog posts. There are reasons that I can’t go into at the moment - suffice it to say that I’ve annoyed some people and got myself into a little trouble.

*sigh*

Until it’s all sorted, I don’t really feel like blogging - maybe the odd 1 or 2 posts a week, but nowt with any substance.
Laters!

George.

PS: In response, I have created a disclaimer page.

What on God’s green Earth am I doing awake at this un-Godly hour of the day? It is neither right, nor good - I need my sleep so as to be able to effectively do stuff throughout the day without relying upon the citrusy taste and caffeinated pleasure that it Mountain Dew…

That’s it for this post. Yes, I know - inane and pointless, but do you really think I care at this time of day?